I’m afraid of failure.
I’m afraid of instability.
I’m afraid of taking risks.
I’m afraid of not being good enough.
I’m afraid of not being talented enough.
I’m afraid that I don’t have a good work ethic.
I’m afraid that I don’t deserve…
Some famous person once said, “fear is the greatest enemy of progress.” True shit. I would also add that in some cases, fear is rooted in a lack of self confidence. I know that’s at least true when it comes to me. I think I would probably be more successful than I am, if I simply believed I could be. Almost two years ago I promised myself I was going to stop compromising my joy for stability, and really focus on pursuing my art. I even wrote about it in another blog post. And yet, at every chance I’ve gotten to put that promise to the test, I’ve chosen stability without hesitation.
So...when is someone going to make a sitcom about single people that isn’t focused on the fact that they’re single?
After living that dorm life freshman year, I decided that it wasn’t for me. So, for the first semester of sophomore year I moved back home and worked two jobs to save up enough money for an apartment. During winter break, right before spring semester started, I found a room in a four bedroom two bathroom duplex within walking distance from my school for the low low of $400/month. Each room was leased separately and two girls were already living there in the lower level which left me on the ground level with my own bathroom.
One of the girls, to this day, I have never actually seen. I know she was there because he name was written on all her food and her laundry detergent and occasionally I heard her giggling with our other roommate, but I have no clue what she looks like or when she moved out. This piece is gonna focus on the other girl, let’s call her Shanika (You may have noticed by now that I’m using fake names in this series and, while I’d like to say it’s to protect identities, I actually just don’t remember any of their real names *insert shrug emoji*).